There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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