Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
