I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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