What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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