I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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