shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have fence marks all over my body
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
