Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you win again, gameday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
