i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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