She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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