You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was CRYING into my vagina
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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