Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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