yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
