Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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