I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
