I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
