Do you still have your period?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
