Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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