I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
