i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
