i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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