Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm too high and old for this...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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