That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
