Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
