I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
