I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
