he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
