You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
