North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
