You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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