$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
