hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
