i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
