My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
