we're chasing vodka with high fives
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
