i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
