Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
