Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
