we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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