dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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