Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
