I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
