i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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