Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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