i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
