So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
