Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
