have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
