you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize