There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
