You smell like a Billy Joel song
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No subtext here. People are naked.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
