she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
