sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
