please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
