Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
