My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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