You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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