She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We have so much sex to catch up on
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
