His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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