sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
