jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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