She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
